Saturday, December 31, 2016

Want to see some of our past?

This is from my old blog.  I would have kept it, but I can't remember the log-in information!

Next year I am going to paint my windows like I used to.   There in Chile, we had hundreds of people walk in front of my house every day.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Thoughts on the New Year

I kept one of my New Year's resolutions this year, so I thought about making another resolution.  I lost the weight that I intended and more.  My new goal is 15 pounds less in 2017.  But you already knew that.  I have been thinking about stuff and reading articles and watching documentaries about stuff.  I would like to find a realistic resolution about getting rid of, and not acquiring more stuff.

I saw 'The Minimalists" on netflix, and it was completely secular but really pointed out how sadly desperate people are to get more stuff.  It's never enough, and it never fills the void that only Jesus can fill.  That thing that they thought would bring so much joy is now lost in a pile of junk.

On another facet of the issue, you can't organize and clean clutter.  Our homes are often messy and dirty because there is just too much stuff.   We buy stuff that we think we will enjoy, but when it is added to all the junk we already have, it's not as nice as we thought it would be.

We don't want to entertain, because we don't want to have to face the mess.  Well, some of us.  Some of you are really organized.

So, I am just thinking.....about stuff.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Don't want to exercise?

Weight loss without the gym?
  So, I read this article, and I agree with all its advice.  Except for the fact that you need exercise.  Even if you did lose weight, you won't look as good, and you are more likely to gain it back.

There is no magic bullet, but I have found that exercise and diet must go hand in hand.  Exercise also helps with your discipline.  I find that when I am tempted, it is easy to remember that I got up before 6 am to go to the gym.  I am not going to waste that effort!

  There is no shortcut, and there is no pixie dust for weight loss.  There is just hard work.  It is so very much worth it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016


This also applies to spirituality and godliness.  Everyday is a new day, with choices to be made, resolutions to be kept or broken.   I wish I could just coast along and enjoy my weight loss, but I can't.  It's either lose weight or gain weight.  There is no holding point.   I am either headed forward or backward.

This is tiring.  I wish I could give up and give in.   I wish I didn't have to focus on this anymore.  I want/need this to continue to work, so I must keep on.

Keeping up the exercise has been relatively easy.  Mostly because of the fact that my husband and I workout at the same time.  We don't workout together, he does his stuff, I do mine.  But we go together.  Then, my other workout is with friends.

If it were just about the exercise, it would be easy, but it's about the food. I am not a binger.  I am a grazer.  The problem is that bingeing seems really bad and grazing is unnoticeable. Both pack in way too many calories.

I must never, never, never give up.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Why do we gain it back?

  This week in the news, Ali Vincent, one-time winner of the Biggest Loser admitted that she had gained back the weight.  This is not unusual, in fact, quite the opposite.  Many, if not most of us gain it back.  This is a tremendous source of discouragement for those of us in this struggle.

  Why do we gain it back?
1.  We revert to our "normal" behavior.   This means that our changes were temporary. We stuck with the program, any program, as long as we could. Then, as if released from some form of torture, we revert to our original way of life.  We never really made a change that could stick.  Why?

2.  The changes that we made were not realistic or sustainable.  Honestly, we didn't didn't like the diet food.  We didn't like the protein-style burger.  We really didn't want to go to the gym five times a week.  We didn't like that meal-replacement shake. We didn't like measuring our food.  We did all these things to get to a goal, but as soon as that goal was achieved, we reverted to our pre-diet lifestyle.

3.  We didn't deal with the issues that made over-eating a real thing in our lives.  Why did we ever let ourselves get this way?  Don't we have anything better to do than eat? How did food become so important to us?  Didn't we understand that overeating is sinful? Why didn't I care?   Honestly, I don't know that answers to these questions.  I do know this, if I don't figure it out, I will be doomed to regaining the weight eventually and that is a scary thought.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

It's not an easy sight

There is so much to be said about perspective.   When I look at photos from a year ago, I want to die.  How awful!  I look great comparison.  But when I see how I really look now, well, let's just say I still have a long way to go!    I am truly not fishing for compliments although I have received many.  I am just encouraged  and driven to stay focused on keeping on keeping on. 

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Amazingly, still losing

   I am so happy to have stumbled onto a way to lose weight without going insane!  I waited 3 days to see the same result, and now I can officially say that I have lost 31 pounds. Rhonda, are you going to post every time you lose one measly pound?  Why yes, yes I am.  This is huge.

  I have come to a place where diet and exercise are actually working. I am not deprived nor have I been miserable at all.  The only thing that I can say is different this time opposed to all the others (and there were so many) is the commitment to exercise that I have now.  The Weigh Down program, which is the basis for what I do, practically discourages exercise.  Their reasoning is more emotional than physical: they want people to desire to eat less, not exercise so they can eat more. They also want people to know that even if you can't exercise because you are in a wheelchair or something, you can still lose weight.  I understand this, however, I can now see the long-term benefits of a regular exercise routine.

  I want to say that I am proud of what I have done, but honestly, I am just thankful.  Thankful to God for helping me find the way out.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

An After-Thanksgiving recap

I did pretty well in Israel.  We were super busy and active.  Thanksgiving.....not so much.  I will tell you that it is hard to eat less when your mom is visiting.   We made a bunch of things, all good I should tell you.  

There are differing views on how to handle holidays if you are trying to lose weight.  One is to modify recipes to make them lower in calories.  That is not for me.   I like the good stuff.   You cannot convince me that mashed cauliflower and mashed potatoes are the same.    The other view is to eat the same, but less.   The last is to just overeat, and deal with the consequences later.   I have to admit that I was between #2 and #3.   I have 1.4 pounds to reckon with. All in all, it doesn't seem too bad.  My goal is to maintain until the new year.

I don't really view overeating at a holiday meal as something that is so bad.  What is bad is continuing the undesirable behaviour days after the holiday.  What we did was that we planned on leftovers so that we could enjoy the feast for two days rather than just pigging out on the first day. 

Honestly, I enjoyed the food but I felt rather sluggish.  I still need to find that stopping point, regardless of how delicious everything is!

Friday, November 18, 2016

Post-trip weigh in

Like I said before, I had no intention of dieting while in Israel, and I kept my word!   We had a great time, and the food was really good and abundant.   I will do a post about the trip, and share photos, but first, the day of Reckoning.   I stepped fearfully on the scale this morning before heading out to the gym.   Result?  The same as before I left!   I lost 30 pounds this year, and did not find them in Israel.    WooHoo!!!   Happy Dance!!!

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Portion control

Let's face facts.  Most Americans eat too much.  Agreed?  Restaurant portions are huge.  Most of us think that since they thought that was a good-sized portion, we should eat that portion. After all, we paid for it!  At home, we eat whatever and how much of whatever we want.   That is why we are where we are.

   Enter Portion Control.  Yes!   Let's eat less. Let's weigh and measure out each thing we eat before we eat it.  Just look up "portion control" on Pinterest, and you will be amazed at all the products available and different methods of portion control.   If you control your portions you will lose weight.  True Fact. The added benefit is that there is no thinking or feeling involved.  You just eat what you have previously controlled, and you will be fine.   Until you go to a restaurant.

   Here is another true fact.  (Isn't that redundant?)   Thin people do not measure their food.  Nor do they eat everything that is put in front of them. They just eat what fills them up.  Note: it takes very little to fill them up, they are very sensitive to fullness.

  So, I submit to you this:  measure your food and control your portions for a while to get an idea of how much you are overeating, but then try to become sensitive to real hunger and fullness.   Learn these words, "I don't want anymore, I am full"   Skinny people say that all the time.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

If only!

Also, I want the muscles I am using to light up when I use them.  Is that too much to ask?

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Revised Goals and a bit of randomness

Today I weighed .2 less than yesterday, which means that yesterday was not a fluke!  Yay.   So I have been thinking about my new long-term goals.  As they say, "If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time"  I can't remember if that was Dave Ramsey, or Dave Ramsey quoting someone else.   Anyway.....   I did the math on the last two months, and I lost 1.5 pounds per month.  Horrible, you say?  Not at all!  I am so encouraged!  Slow, steady, reasonable weight loss is an amazing thing.  So my new goal is.......1.5 pounds per month for the next 24 months.  If I can do this, which I know I can, in two more years I will weigh what I weighed on the day I got married.  Sounds like a nice goal to me!

  On to the randomness.   I love, love, love Pinterest.  Except for all the time I waste on Pinterest.   I read about fitness among other things.  I have been seeing blogs written by Body Positive writers, and there is just something about that that I find really disturbing.  Now, I know that there are those with real medical issues that make weight loss hard.  However, for most of us it's a matter of too little movement and too much food.  Rejoicing in my "curves" (they are more like bulges) is not realistic or healthy.  And let's be honest.....nobody feels good with bulges and the health problems that these bring with them.  (think knees, hips, back, blood sugar, cholesterol)  I would love to encourage others to continue to try, to fight, to move, to never give in and never give up, no matter how hard, and no matter the challenge.   Let's not just be happy that we can buy pretty clothes.    I know I will never be 120 pounds and I am good with that.  But I can always aim for trimmer, healthier, fitter, stronger.  It's not easy and I know that better than anyone.  But if you aim at'll hit it every time.

Monday, October 31, 2016

And here it is......

  30 pounds gone!   In 9 months, I achieved 250% of my original goal for one year.   12 pounds seemed doable.  After years of failure and defeat, I really wanted something doable.  But then the weight came off faster!  Praise God.  Now it has slowed, and I am really Ok with that.

  The sad part is that I am still really overweight, and so my journey continues.  I figure that, without paying any attention to my eating, I gained 5 pounds per year over several years.  There are some of you that are really blessed and your weight does not go up or down. Good for you, but that is not my case.  If I do not stay somewhat focused, I will slowly regain the weight.  So, I am either losing slowly or gaining slowly.  That is the fact that I cannot ignore.  My choice.  Gain or lose.

  New goal-same goal.  1 pound loss per month.  In five years I will be so different!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

A quick update

Got on the scale, like I do every morning.  Yay!  I am back to 29 pounds.  8 days of not doing very well have been neutralized.   It really does pay to get back on track just as soon as possible.
  I did go to the gym yesterday, like I said.   After that, I took the car to change the oil.  The guy told me that it would take at least two hours.  I had to get home but Ronnie had the other car in Oro Valley and  Neil had the motorcycle at church.  So I walked home.  In the sun.  Took me 35 minutes.    I guess God knew that I needed a second workout yesterday!   I didn't walk back though, Neil took me on the motorcycle.  Yikes!  I am not quite ready for that.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Post-conference weight and thoughts

It's been a long, wacky week.  I went to California to visit family, and we ate.  Unfortunately, it was Wienerschnitzel, and, well, enough said. At least the company was good!  We did make up for it the next day at The Point at WCBC with my Mom and my daughters.   Then we came home to Missions Conference at Church.  What an amazing, wonderful week.  Got to meet some awesome missionaries and we had a blast.   And we ate!  Plenty of fellowship around the table. We managed to eat at all my favorite places.  I defiantly stayed off the scale until today, fully expecting  2-3 pounds of "fellowship".   PTL, only 1!   I can handle that.   I am back on track today.   We went to the gym. All is well.  I have about 17 days to drop 2-3 pounds before Israel.

I am motivated to continue this process that I hope will be with me for the rest of my life.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Can I get an Amen?

     Down 29 pounds!!!    I cannot be happier considering this was a really busy weekend with lots of
eating activities.   I was afraid to step on the scale this morning, but I did anyway, 
and I am so glad I did.  Especially considering that I ate a nice piece of red velvet cake 
and we shared some  Panda Express and by Panda Express I mean Orange chicken.  
I don't go there for the healthy stuff. 

     I am one pound away from my end-of-the-year goal.   Part of me says to rethink my goal.  
The other part of me understands that I have a big trip coming up, and I do not intend to diet in Israel.
Also, Missions Conference starts in less than a week. Oh yeah, and Christmas in two months. 
It will be all can do to reach 30 and hover around 30 until year's end. 
So sorry about the spacing.  Something is up with Blogger today.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

The Case for slow weight loss

Sometimes when I see or hear about folks who have lost a lot of weight pretty quickly, I get a little jealous and a little frustrated with myself.  I have to remind myself of my original plan; 12 pounds in 12 months.   I know that it seems insignificant but it's not.  Truth is, I have lost more than twice that amount.  I sure am not complaining!  But I am still convinced that slow and steady wins the race.

My reasoning has to do with weight maintenance.  If I go on a strict diet for 6 months, I may lose a lot of weight, but I won't have changed my lifestyle permanently.   You can do anything for 6 months, but after the deprivation and strict control, you just might revert to your old habits.   If you steadily change your habits over a 2 or 3 year period,  it is very likely that you have established the permanent habits that you need to not regain the weight.

That being said, do whatever works for you!  I encourage anyone who is making an effort to become more healthy and fit.    #fittoservehim

Friday, October 7, 2016

Body shaming vs Body Positive

It is not easy being a fat person.  I mean, it's easy to become a fat person, but once you are there, it is no joke.   Clothes are hard to find, ugly, and ill-fitting.  Seats are snug.  Entire stores don't carry your size.  Some people actively make fun of fat people.  I had a relative who, when he saw a fat lady walk by in a restaurant, said loud enough for all to hear, "I hope she orders a salad!"  Even those who don't say things like that out loud, may be thinking them.

   In recent years, there has been a movement toward acceptance of fat and people of larger sizes.  At first, it's a relief.   There are more stores that carry more options.  Nice.  But at what cost?  It would be so much easier if I just gave up, if I just learned to love my curves!   This sounds good and is very politically correct, but would not be good for me or my health.  No one really enjoys being fat and no amount of "acceptance" is going to change that.

  Honestly, though, we need both acceptance of what we are and encouragement to change.   I don't need anyone to tell me that I am OK the way I am, nor do I need anyone to tell me that I am fat.   If you know someone who needs help with their health, pray for them.  If you see them making positive changes, encourage them. Never sabotage their efforts, nor police them, either.

  Of course, Jesus said it perfectly so many years ago:  Do to others as you would have them do to you.   Accept them for who and what they are, and encourage them when they change for the better!

Friday, September 30, 2016

Progress and a huge Milestone

I have now officially lost 27 pounds. 27 pounds in 8 months.  That is almost 3.5 pounds per month. Of course my weight bobbed up and down for what seemed like weeks!  Now I've dipped below 27, and when it bobs up, it stops at 27.   27.2, thank you very much!  So, yay!!!!!!  And I've also passed a huge personal milestone.

I am focusing a bit on the idea of "Crowding out" which is basically eating so much good stuff that there isn't a lot of room or desire for the not-so-good.  It seems like a good philosophy for long-term maintenance.  I know for a fact that there are a lot of things that I haven't eaten lately because I have to chose between eating something and losing weight.  I don't like the idea of simply cutting things out of my diet.  You all know how rebellious I am when I am told not to eat something!  I just think that with the holidays in view, a plan of attack must be formulated or I will find myself in retreat and lose the progress I have fought so hard for.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Isn't it funny?

It is funny/sad/frightening to know that you do not lose weight evenly throughout your body.   And of course you know that you cannot target areas of your body to just lose weight there.  So, seems like I am at the mercy of I-don't-know-what when it comes to where the weight comes off.  

Here is what happens to me.  I lose weight in my face first.  That is OK.  Then it seems to start to creep from my head down, and from my feet up.  Right now, the line appears to be at my knees coming up, and my waist going down.    I have nice and thin ankles right now!

The awful part is that the spot which needs thinning the most will apparently be the last to go!

Friday, September 16, 2016

Progress and goals

I have been stuck on the same number for the past 4 days.  26.5 pounds lost.  First off, yay!  That is so great for me!  Second, I'm (temporarily) stuck. That is no fun.  It almost takes out the fun of 26.5.    So, I am going to take my very good advice that I always give everyone else, and look on the positive side of things.  Since February 1, I have lost over 26 pounds.  Since August 16, 1.2 pounds.  Not great, but definitely in the right direction.

I have developed a new goal for the rest of the year.  I would like to reach the 30 pound mark before my trip to Israel in November. That is not a new goal.  What is new is that I would like to maintain the 30 pound loss until the end of the year.  Why not try to lose more? Um, Christmas?   The first real challenge for the overweight person is to lose the weight.  This is hard.  The second challenge for that person is to keep off the weight that they lost.   This could be harder than the first.   Starting in November and all the way to New Year's is one big, happy, delicious social event, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Therefore, the challenge is to enjoy the holidays without going overboard.  The challenge is to practice moderation. The whole reason I gained the weight in the first place is because I did not practice moderation.   For those of you whose weight does not fluctuate, I envy you. For the rest of us, the ability to maintain our weight is vital.

How do I know that maintaining my weight will be hard?  Because I am already craving the chocolate mousse that I make for Thanksgiving.  Yikes!

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

It's been a long road

Weight loss has slowed and I guess I am OK with that.  Right now, it's as if I were losing as slowly as I had intended to in the beginning.  The problem is that it is not steady.  Its down two, up one, up one, down two, etc.  So I really have to gauge it over a month just to see what it really is.  This is bad because I get very little true sense of accomplishment. I don't get to say that I've lost 25 pounds until the scale says I've lost 27 for a few days.

I am on the brink of another Major Milestone.   Should have gotten there today, but that's OK.   I am 3.5 pounds away from 30 which is my goal before going to Israel.  At this rate, I should make it, but just barely.

I am still working out faithfully.  We get the most out of our gym membership, and I go to the weekly class with Sandra.  I am pretty sure that exercise has become a permanent habit.  I have to know that I will continue to move and exercise for the rest of my life. That is real accomplishment.

Monday, August 22, 2016

The Pros and Cons of Daily Weigh-in


     I just love Pinterest!  I used to think that it was about crafts and decor.  It is so much more!   It is my hub of education.  I can find out about anything.   This is good and bad because there is so much that you really have to look at and read.  So many different opinions!  "Do this, do that." "You've been doing it wrong all these years!"  Really?  Is it that bad?  Everyone has something different to say about the frequency of weigh-ins.

   There are basically three different camps when it comes to weighing yourself.   1.  Daily weighing.
2. Weekly or monthly weighing.   3.  No weighing, just measuring.

   I belong to the first group.  This keeps me constantly accountable and aware. It helps me to stay focused.   There is one problem:
                                        THE DREADED FLUCTUATION

 My weight can fluctuate up to 3 pounds from one day to the next.  Three!  This can be rather discouraging unless I realize that it's temporary.  If I am good today about my food, it will be back to what it was yesterday, or even less!   What is important is to know that you cannot really gain 3 pounds of fat in one day, so you don't need to freak out and quit.  Now if you find your weight going up day after day, you really need to reevaluate your diet!  Figure out what works best for you and stick to it. Don't let fluctuations be a discouragement to you. 

Saturday, August 20, 2016

In shock

   The other day, I had the opportunity to see a show called "My 600 pound life."   I had never seen it before because we don't have cable, but had heard of it.
   I was understandably shocked, which is, of course, the whole point of the show. You ask yourself, how does any get to that point? It is like anything else.  We are all capable of getting so far away from normal.

   It was very sad.  Some of these people needed counselling, not just surgery. All of them needed Jesus.  What really hit me hard was watching the families.  Most of the families were also very overweight and they just watched their loved one eat his way to misery.  Often, they were enablers, buying junk food and looking the other way.   I saw one episode of a young man who lived with his parents.  They wanted him to lose weight, but when he needed to lose 50 pounds in order to get surgery, they we unhelpful.  They all kept eating mac-and-cheese and other high-fat foods.   I know that it is everyone's own choice but I believe that we have an obligation to one another.  Wouldn't it be great if everyone pitched in to improve the whole family's diet?   I know that it was "reality" tv which isn't real at all.  But it was interesting!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Celebration. A major Milestone

Happy Dance!
I weighed this for two days in a row, so I feel confident about posting it.   Yay me!
You may say, "So what?"  "You've lost 25 pounds, so what?"   So what?  It's hard!  It's sacrifice.  It's work.  I'll tell you, it doesn't get any easier.  Every pound lost is a huge victory.  It is never easy.

I still have people telling me how I "should" be losing weight.  Here is a tip.  If someone is losing weight, be a friend.  Congratulate them, be happy for them and don't sabotage them.   That is all.  They really want to succeed.  They really want your encouragement.  I am so thankful for all my friends who are so very encouraging!

Again, here is how I roll:
1 Eat whatever I want, just less. Much less.
2 Exercise, both cardio and strength training.
3 No eating after 6 pm.   (This is a biggie for me)
4 Pick protein-filled foods over simple carbs.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Weight loss and grace

  We all should know that salvation and God's blessing are by grace.  Unmerited favor.    We also know that many of God's blessings are, in fact, conditional.  If I do this, He will do that.  But of course, it's never really tit-for-tat with God.  We don't, can't, force Him to bless us just because we did something.

  Weight loss is very interesting because it hasn't been as "scientific" as I thought it would be.  I thought "I will just eat this many fewer calories and workout and burn so many calories and I will lost this many pounds."  Some days I do that, and don't drop an ounce.  Somedays I lose more that I thought I deserved to.   I like to think that this is weight loss by grace.  I set my heart and mind on pleasing God with my actions, regardless of weight loss, and then let Him decide what to do with my body.  That way, it's all for His glory.  My motivation is from Him and my results are all for His glory.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Back on track

Well, it's taken a month, but I am back on track, slowly losing the weight. Yay.  Now I am back to slowly easing down. .2 or .4 of a pound does not seem like a lot, but week after week it adds up to serious weight loss.  I think watching the Biggest Loser is really dangerous because you see the contestants "lose" 5-12 pounds a week.   That is not realistic, healthy or sustainable in any way.  On the flip side, losing .4 of a pound in one week seems practically unnoticeable.  But that is a pound and a half a month which is, as anyone can do the math, 18 pounds in one year.  Anyone can do that!  18 pounds less is awesome.  So I guess that .2 or .4 less every other day or so is a real, long-term triumph. And I am all about triumph!

Friday, August 12, 2016


So it happened.  Weight loss has come to a screeching halt.  I am still doing the same things I was doing before, only the weight is not coming off.

Here's the plan.  I will continue to do what I have been doing.  I will not give up.  I continue to exercise.  I will continue to eat less.  I will be more vigilant of mindless snacking.

The exercise will be great, because even if I don't lose weight, I will continue to improve my body's shape, not to mention improve my physical condition.

I am kind of scared to share this because I really don't want people to start telling me to do this or that.   Seems like everyone is an expert.  I am the one who has to live with my decisions and my choices, long-term.  I have to remember that I got this far.  22 pounds lost.  I will break through this and I will continue to lose weight and get fitter.

I think of other people who are fighting battles similar to mine, but harder, like drug addiction and alcoholism.  It seems like you never get to a point where there is no battle.  Everyday is a struggle in this area and every defeat feels like failure.  I have not failed, even though I see no advance in the battle.  Every time I don't give in to temptation is a victory, even if I don't get approval from the scale.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Almost back

Almost back to where I was when I left for Missouri.  I am so glad, too.  I honestly feared that so many "days off" would make it impossible, hard to get back on track.    I have one more pound to go to get back to where I was when I left.

I got right back into my exercise routine.  I told myself that, no matter what I weighed or ate, I could always exercise and I would be better off for it.  My Monday classes with Sandra are still hard and I feel I look so awful while doing those exercises. I am so glad the park is pretty much empty now!  I trudge on, knowing that I am doing the right thing at the right time. Literally working my tail off!  And my clothes fit so much better!

We get so discouraged when we face a detour and lose our momentum.  I ask God for strength to get back to where I need to be......and beyond!

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Vacation is over!

So basically I ate my way around northern Arkansas and Missouri.   Mom, Sharon and I ate at the Rowdy Beaver.  They shared the rib eye, and I had the BBQ nachos.  Words cannot adequately describe these amazing nachos!

 The next day we had a breakfast buffet in the main dining room of the Crescent Hotel.  Look it up!  It's a fascinating place and breakfast was awesome.
I also got to go to a church potluck, and hear the bluegrass band rehearse.  Love me some potluck!
That just set the stage for 7 great days of vacation which included the Great Passion Play, camping on beautiful Table Rock lake, and Moses at Sight and Sound.  That was after a fabulous lunch at the Chateau on the Lake.

Now I must pay the piper.  Here are some thoughts.  Daily weighing is a must.  Daily.  Also, a full-length mirror is a great tool and motivator.

I have make-up work to do, but I regret nothing!!!!!!!!!  Thanks to Mom, and Harold and Sharon!

Monday, July 4, 2016


That's how you know that your diet will work.  There are so many diets there, and I am sure that most of them work.  Right now, you can take your pick of healthy and/or unhealthy diets.  You can do low carb, no grain, all grain, vegan, all meat, raw food, you name it.  Someone out there has a plan for YOU!   LOSE WEIGHT FAST! That is their claim, and they are sticking to their story.

The question is not if you can lose weight, but if you can keep it up long enough to lose the weight you need and not gain it back.  For that you need a sustainable plan.  Probably you need a plan you can live with for the rest of your life.  This is where fad diets and radical exercise programs are not going to be your friend.

Any plan for anything that promises instant results for little-to-no effort is probably phony.  Anything worthwhile in this life requires long-term changes and a real effort.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Pushing through

  There are times when progress slows.  I am so pleased with my results and so many people have been so complimentary that I feel that my focus was slipping.  I mean, I've already lost 20 pounds, and I already look a lot better.  Why can I just leave good enough alone?  Because I still have a long way to go.  And I am thinner, not thin.  Not even "normal"  (I guess we all knew that!)

  So, yesterday talk about Tumamoc Hill came up. I didn't want to get up at 4:45 to go with my friends, so I suggested that we go last night, right after VBS.  Sounds crazy, no?  Sure was!  But hike it we did at 10 pm.  Eileen, Keeara and I made it walking, Neil ran/walked.  Favi made it to the top even though she didn't want to!

  I saw some weight loss this morning, and a renewed desire to keep on keeping on.  To push through complacency.  Sometimes when you are tired and discouraged is just the time to push through to the next level!

Friday, June 24, 2016

The Cost of Days Off

I have the power to choose.   I am not bound.  If I want to take a day off or a week off that is my choice.  It does not make me a loser or a failure.  What I am bound to is the consequences of my decisions.  We all must pay the piper and face the music.  Seems like it takes a day of being good to counteract one day of not-so-good. 

I took "off" for 5 days.  Totally my choice and totally worth it.  My consequences? Lost time.  You see, I did "gain weight".  I put those words in quotation marks because to gain 5 pounds of fat, which is what the scale said, I would have had to have eaten 15,000 extra calories.  In five days.   I don't even know if that is possible!  Still, that's what the scale said.

After a week back on track, I am now where I was the day I left.  So in reality, I did not gain nor did I lose any weight.  What I lost was time and momentum.  Two weeks of opportunity to lose weight.  Again, that was my choice.  Some folks are so pumped about their weight loss that continuing to diet while travelling is worth it to them.  They don't want to lose momentum.  That is their choice, and we all have the freedom to choose. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Hitting the reset button

  We went to Lancaster, CA, for the Spiritual Leadership Conference last week.  It was great.  We also spent a day at Disneyland.  That's 2 and a half days sitting in a conference and 2 full days in a van. And on top of all, we ate good!  Neil and I had dinner one night at the Storyteller's Cafe at the Grand Californian and it was so nice!  Love, love, love Craftsman decor.  I want to live at the Grand Californian!
Needless to say, setbacks in weight loss were made.  Not too bad, but I am back on track.  I am so glad that I had a good time and enjoyed some delicious food.  It's all about long-term weight loss and management.  It's about getting back on track.  It's about not freaking out or feeling like a loser.

For almost everything, there is a reset button.  Did I fail at something last week?  I am only a failure if I let last week's failings to become a new habit.  Today is a new day.  I can be what I need to be today.  I can be obedient to God today.   I can focus on God today, regardless of yesterday.   Now, maybe I did something sinful, and I need to come to a place of repentance before I can move on, but move on I  can. 

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Dealing with people who are losing weight

I must admit, this meme stung.  It's not that I am fishing for compliments, it's just that this losing weight thing is a big deal.  Being fat is horrible, no matter what anyone says. Just because they make prettier clothes for big gals does not mean that I look good in them.  Losing weight is hard.  If it were easy, everyone would be thin!  It takes a great deal of effort to stay focused, because my natural tendency is to eat without thinking about it.   I like to go out to eat.  I like to cook.  I like to feed people tasty food.   I like reading about new recipes, and I like watching cooking shows.  I don't really like exercising.

I have only been successful in weight lost twice in my life.  I have dieted on-and-off so many times unsuccessfully so many times, I can't count them.  If you could have a heart-to-heart with any heavy person, they would tell you of the struggle.  They would tell you of the jealousy we feel when you tell us that you've never been overweight, and you eat whatever you want. They would tell you how frustrating it is when someone talks about their miracle diet.  They would tell you how frustrating and discouraging buying clothes is.

  So, if you have a friend or loved one who has found a way, please be patient. Please encourage them.  They may have a long journey ahead, and they want so desperately to make it. Pray for them!  I talked to several folks the other day who really need to lose weight for serious health reasons.  Let me tell you, even the fear of illness does not make weight loss any easier!  Like I said, if it were easy, we'd all be thin.

  Be an encourager.  Please.

Friday, June 10, 2016


Yay!!!!   I have lost 20 pounds in a little over 4 months.  Here is what I have learned:

1. For me, eating the same food I always eat, but much less, is the key.
2. Even though I still eat the same foods, I have noticed that my cravings for sweets has diminished.
3. Not eating past 6 pm is really helpful.
4. I don't exercise for weight loss, I do it for strength and general fitness
5.  Most people are genuinely happy for me, and I thank them for their support.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Kidding myself

  Dieting takes a great deal of focus.  You have to be vigilant about what you eat all the time.   When you are am at-home mom, you are surrounded by food and food prep a lot of the day.  Sometimes I envy those who go to work and are not tempted at all with food.  Sometime I wish my kitchen had a door I could close off!

   I haven't lost anymore weight, because I think that I have not been honest with myself about how much I am actually eating.  That is a major component of my "diet plan", being able to honestly assess overeating.  Not that I am overeating, I am just not eating less enough to drop the weight.  
Exercise levels are still really good.  

   I didn't want to blog about staying the same weight, but accountability is really important.   One of the most successful weight loss programs is Weight Watchers.  I think that it is because of the group interaction.  I don't know who all is reading this blog, but you are my group.  I will share my successes and my setbacks.  (Notice how I did not use the word "failure"!)

 Some days I am really pleased with my progress, and some days I am bummed about how far I have to go. 

Friday, June 3, 2016

Progress and a Milestone

                                      Wow! Don't I look thin in this photo?   Jk

   As of today, I have lost 19 pounds.  In the moment, the progress seems slow, but considering that I started on February 2, 2016, it's fast enough for me.  That is 4.75 pounds per month. Happy, happy happy!

  This is also a Milestone.  You know that quote "I wish I was as thin as the first time I thought I was fat"?   I now weigh just under what I weighed on that day, about 16 years ago, when I went to yet another doctor for help.  When he told me how much I weighed, tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn't keep them from spilling onto my cheeks.  He prescribed fen-phen which was coming to an end of its popularity at the time.  I took it for a month, and it was great. I think I lost 8 pounds that month.  Unfortunately, fen-phen isn't good for you, so I stopped taking it.  It was at this same time that someone sent me the Weighdown Diet book and you know the rest.  Sadly, over the next 15 years, I gained the weight back and more.  Now, on the way back down, I am where I started, that day in the doctor's office.  It's a bittersweet moment and a time for me to reflect.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

The importance of Getting Back on Track

     Failure.  It's such an ugly word. Nothing can ruin your frame of mind like failure. We fear that others see us as failures.  We see ourselves as failures.  Our culture worships success.   Yet, for so many things, success is hard to define.   

    In dieting, success is weight loss.  But what if you are eating properly and exercising and still not losing weight?  Are you a failure?  What about when you overeat for a meal, or a day, or a week.  Are you a failure?  Failure to me is not overeating, but of giving up.  As long as I recognize what I am doing, and take steps to get back on track, I am succeeding.  Everyday is a new day to do things the right way.  Today I can have a good attitude, today I can make the right choices. God is a God of mercies and he gives them to me new every morning.  So, I think I can extend that mercy to myself, and start over, as often as necessary, to the glory of God. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Post-vacation update

    We left for our vacation on the 19th, and were gone for a week and a day.   We had a great time.  I was concerned about gaining weight while on vacation, but I didn't really want to "diet" either.  I tried a "middle of the road" approach.  I still ate a lot, and it sure was good!

    We were very active this vacation.  We went to the San Diego Zoo, and that place is not flat!  We walked up and down hills and stairs all day.  The next day we went hiking and toured the USS Midway.  We also spent two great days at Disneyland, and lots of walking is inevitable, as is eating treats!

    I decided to wait a few days after returning home to weigh in.  I figured it would take that long for my body to get back to normal.  So............ I stepped on the scale this morning......and....... I weigh exactly what I did on the 18th, the day before I left!  I'll take it!  Honestly, I can't believe it, because I really have no idea about weight maintenance.   I know about gaining, and I know about losing, but I don't know a lot about maintaining.  

  You see, my ultimate goal, after the weight loss, is to be able to maintain my weight.  Just about anybody can lose weight, but keeping it off is another story.  This vacation is a victory in that after it is over, I am right back on track to lose.  I didn't gain one ounce. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Cravings and resistance


Today has been good so far, no irresistible temptation.  I was down .2 from yesterday which can mean absolutely nothing or it can mean that I am losing weight.

We are headed off to a vacation for a week.  Don't intend to diet, nor do I intend to pig out.  I might make a few bad choices.  I don't intend to weight myself for at least 3 days after I return.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

For the record

This post is not really interesting, just an idea that I am researching.

Dealing with monthly hormonal changes is challenging while trying to lose weight.  I am going to start tracking my perceived ability to resist temptation.   For example, the other day, I was not technically hungry, but I really wanted to eat everything in sight and I did eat more than I normally would.

So for the record, today, May 17, I feel quite able to resist temptation.  There is chocolate pie in the fridge, and bread everywhere, I am fairly content to sip my tea until I get truly hungry.

What do I look like now?

If you thought I was going to post  photos of myself in workout gear like everyone else does......well, you know me! Still, for the sake of the weight loss blog, I thought that I would visually document changes.   I will try to wear this same outfit in a month and see if there is any visible difference.
This one is from 2014.  Honestly, can't tell that much of a difference, yet.   I was heavier then, but it is not so easy to see differences when you dress modestly.  That is also another reason that the weight creeps up.  Loose-fitting clothes are, most unfortunately, "forgiving" and you don't realize just how much you've gained. 

Monday, May 16, 2016

What if I gain the weight back?

That happens, you know.   It happens a lot. It happened to me after I lost 50 pounds in 2000.
There was a lot going on in my life in the years following the weight loss, and I lost focus.  It is depressing, for sure, to gain back the weight after all that effort.

Let's consider the alternative.  What if I had never lost that weight?  Where would I be today?  Probably over 300 lbs.  Definitely discouraged and with horrible self-esteem.  I would probably have marital problems due to the fact that I didn't care enough about us to take care of myself. Ashamed.

There is a lot said about yo-yo dieting, but I say this: at the very least, they are trying. It's not recommended, but it is a whole lot better than doing nothing.  Those of us who are overweight will fight this fight all our lives. Every pound lost is a victory, and even everyday that we can maintain is another day that we did not gain weight. Victory. 

Friday, May 13, 2016

External control vs. Internal control

Based on the quote from my last post, I am thinking about what it means to me.  I think that I am on the right track.  Extreme dieting is not my thing.  Sometimes, I eat things that I would never have considered eating in the past while dieting.  Things like chocolate and ice cream.  Not a lot, just a bit.   I'm happy.  I can keep this up.

I have been mulling over dieting, dieting programs, fat farms, the Biggest Loser, and diet food.  All these things represent external control.  For example, if I had the money, I would have joined a program like Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig.  I would have paid, and they would have delivered the food to me.  I would just have to follow the system, and submitted to its control.  I probably would never have joined the Biggest Loser, but it would have been nice to go someplace where everything is controlled and portioned.  Someone to tell me where to go and what to do.  If I followed a diet, like I did as a teenager, I would have a list of things I could and couldn't eat.  I would submit to the portion control of the diet.  I would measure and weigh my food.  I would eat what they say when they say.

I would do that for a while.  I would lose weight. I would be miserable.  Eventually though, I would want to break free of the rules and portions and nasty diet food.  I would want to be able to go anywhere and eat.  Because I would be hungry, I would go overboard and then give up.  Fail. Again. Gain the weight back.

Internal control is quite the opposite.  I learn to control myself.  What a concept!  The Bible calls it temperance, which means "self-control"  I learn to eat what I need, when I need it, and base my portions on need rather than desire.  And because I am in control, I won't rebel.  I won't need to.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

A great quote

"The key to your success is actually liking the life and diet you're living with 
while you're losing the weight."

Yoni Freedhoff
Italics mine

This quote is simple, and like a lot of simple things, it is true. Even if I lost 100 pounds, I can never go back to the way things were, and I can't want that.  I have to want the life where I am headed.

An encouraging article

30 minutes or 3 miles

Some people do great at extreme workouts.  Some, but not many.  I don't.
This plan seems manageable.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Exercise, the pros and cons

 There really aren't any cons to exercising.  Exercise is great for so many things besides weight loss. That is why I began exercising faithfully over a year ago.  I had no intention of dieting, and I had no illusions of weight loss.  I did know, however, that I needed to move.  I needed to stretch.   I needed to be able to run a block without getting winded.  (I am still working on that one!)

 Basically, I had accepted the fact that I would be at this weight forever.  I decided that if I wasn't going to get thinner, at the very least I could be fitter and stronger.  I knew that, in order to continue to serve the Lord over the years, I needed to stay healthy.   I also knew that, going into my 40's, I needed to work at staying as flexible as possible, although I have never been very flexible. Honestly, it was a great year.  I was and am proud of my perseverance.

 The Weighdown program which I generally follow does not encourage exercise. The reason being very simple, and more about your mind than your body.  Most people who need to lose weight end up trying to use exercise so that they can eat more.  The whole point of Weighdown is to learn to eat less.  The other idea is to eat regular food in smaller quantities rather than to eat large quantities of "diet" food.  They know that you can only eat "diet" food for so long, then you revert to the original.
So, when I lost 50 lbs. 15 years ago, I didn't exercise all that much.

Now, I can say that I exercise, regardless of weight loss.  That being said, the exercise has made my current weight loss journey much more fruitful.  My goals for exercise are still the same.  I want to be fit and strong so that I can continue to do what God needs for me to do. 

Progress and a request.

So....this is a weight loss blog therefore, there must be weight loss.  So.....there is!
As of this morning, I have lost over 16 pounds.   My starting date was Feb 2, 2016.
In a little over 3 months I have lost over 16 pounds!

Here is the sad/discouraging thing.  I have so far to go!  It's like a family that is 100,000 dollars in debt.  They can pay off 20,000, which is a lot of money, and a lot of effort.  But they are still 80,000 dollars in debt. If you see someone who is trying to do something hard, like losing weight, paying down debt, quitting smoking or drinking, be an encourager to them!  Pray for them!  There is still a loud voice inside that keeps telling me that this is a fluke, and that I am going to hit a plateau any minute.  I fear that I will give up and get fatter than I was!  It wouldn't be the first time. Satan is all about discouragement. These thoughts are not from God.  God is the one who gives me strength.  He gives me power, love, and a sound mind.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Waiting....until I am really hungry.

One of the main goals of my weight loss program is waiting to eat until I am physically hungry.  You may not "get this", and if you don't, you are probably skinny.  Naturally thin people usually only eat when they are hungry, otherwise, the "forget" to eat.  I have never forgotten to eat in my life. Ever. 

The whole reason for the weight gain is because I repeatedly ate more than I needed and when I wasn't hungry.  Right now, I am not really hungry, per se, but I really want to heat up the leftover Orange Chicken from yesterday.   I won't, but I want to.   This is where the willpower has to factor in.  It's not because I am hungry, because I am not.  I just want it, and that is not a good reason to eat.
  I am not suffering, and I can wait. 

Of course learning to wait until the right time is a big part of life, in so many areas. So many people are in debt because they wanted something right now.  Even if they didn't need it right now.    Some people are in bad relationships because they wanted to be in a relationship right now, instead of waiting for God's leading.   My thing is that I have to wait for is the "green light" of a stomach growl letting me know it's really and truly time to eat.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Combat discouragement!

There is so much that we could accomplish if we didn't get discouraged and quit.   Life is hard.   Weight loss is hard.   Developing Christian character is hard.  School is hard.  Controlling your tongue is hard.

We lose out on so much because we get discouraged and quit.  We can't just not be discouraged, we must combat discouragement!  Fight!  Fight hard!  Encourage yourself in the Lord.  Cast down all thoughts of defeat.  Anything good is worth fighting for. If I don't succeed, I can diligently seek the reason for the (temporary) failure.  I will find a way!

Whatever it is that you quit because it was too hard, take up again.  Fight the good fight. Endure hardships as a soldier of Christ.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Going hungry vs. getting hungry

Most of us shy away from dieting because we don't want to go hungry.  We've tried that in the past, and quite frankly, didn't like it.  I get weak and cranky.  And, on top of it all, there is a feeling of martyrdom and unfair suffering.

The Weighdown style of eating does not include going hungry, but getting hungry. Once you are truly hungry, you eat anything you want.  Not as much as you want, but anything you want.  I have discovered that once I get to true hunger, (not boredom) I really think about what it is that I want.  And since I can't/won't pig out, I think I am beginning to choose more wisely.  I mean, I can have a donut, but do I want it?  Sometimes I do!  Sometimes it's just enough knowing that I could if I wanted to, but I choose something else that is better for me in the long run.  Now, instead of obeying a diet, I get to choose. I get to live with the results of my choices.  Freedom!

I have lost 14 pounds in 3 months.  I am good with that.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me!

Eat less.

The news today and yesterday concerning weight loss were not good.  It said that most of the Biggest Loser contestants regained most of their weight, and some are even heavier.  This is really discouraging because we want to believe that once we lose the weight, we can eat "normally" again.

I am coming to terms with the fact that if I intend to lose more weight and keep it off, I must be vigilant about my weight for the rest of my natural life.   This is not what I want.  But the fact that this bothers me proves to me that I am still hung up about food and that it still holds too much of my affection. This is the real battle and the true goal: Not to be "addicted" to food.   I hate using the term "addiction" because nowadays an "addiction" is an"illness" that relieves me of responsibility.  If I want to, I can look around for someone or something to blame for my weight gain and I will find it.  I won't do that.    I take full responsibility.  It is the only way to get out and get ahead.

Good news is that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13  I will do my part.  I will eat less, and I will exercise. I will be vigilant about my weight so that I cannot fool myself. God will give me victory.  He will perfect that which concerns me. Psalm 138:8

Monday, May 2, 2016

You must do what works for you

I am so pleased to have lost more than 13 pounds in 3 months.    Thrilled.  Ecstatic.  But what I find annoying is that, in spite of what I have achieved, people still feel the need to give me advice on weight loss.   I have no desire to lose weight any faster than I am now.  My goals is to lose it slowly and hopefully, my body will adjust along the way to a new reality.   The long-term success of weight loss programs in not very good.

I have learned that many people lose weight on different programs, and there is not a one-size-fits-all for dieting.   I think my way is best, of course, or I wouldn't be doing it or losing weight.  But I cannot deny that people on other programs have also lost weight.

If someone you love is trying to lose weight, encourage them!  No matter what path they chose, it will not be easy.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Name change.....for a while

I have decided to focus my blog on what I have been focusing on for the past 3 months.  Weight loss.
It takes a great deal of concentration to lose weight, so I have been journaling about it.  I thought it might be helpful to someone else if I journal publicly.  So here goes.

It is not too much a departure from my regular blogging because all that we do has spiritual connections.  There is still much to be learned, so I am still lose.

Thursday, April 14, 2016


It is an ugly word.  Shame.  Sad thing is that it used to mean something and now it means something quite different.  The dictionary says that shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress, caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.  Now, no one wants to feel shame for anything.

Now, people no longer want to feel shame over their (bad) choices.  They want to flaunt their sin. We don't want anyone to say anything that will make us feel uncomfortable.  But I say that shame, like guilt can be a God-given tool that should lead us to repentance.

Now, it is not my job to shame anyone but myself.  Well, maybe my kids.  Remember when parents used to say, "Shame on you!"  It was a call to change immediately.  You didn't want to be a shame to yourself or anyone.

The first step in letting go of sin is to realize that your behaviour is in fact, shameful.  You should feel awful. Ashamed.  The second is to realize that Jesus paid the price of your sin and He will take away your shame if you ask.  Grace.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Nip it in the bud

I found this to be truly inspirational.  So many people struggle with discouragement, anger, frustration, loneliness, fear.   It seems that people tend to mask their feelings until they are unbearable and have started taking a toll on them physically.

Wouldn't it be great if, at the first sign of ............., we started worshipping God and found what we needed in Him?   That's what my mama would have called "nipping it in the bud."   No time to fester, no time to grow.  No chance to make it to the next stage of its miserable existence.  Our fears, angers, discouragements and frustrations would melt away while we rested safely in the Father's care.

How can we worship?  Pray, sing, serve.  Immerse yourself in Scripture.  Have a song ready to listen to.  If your only time of worship is at 10:30 on Sunday morning, you need to discover the joy of a personal time of worship to the Lord.